Hi Cronos! Iām sorry this is so late.
Iāll share what I did to get my cats to eat raw. Keep in mind, they were kittens, so they were probably easier than your junk food addicts. Having said that, I had 5 feral rescues, and, for my sanity, I was trying to get them all to eat the same thing, so that did make it more of a challenge.
My crew has never liked 99% of the commercial raw pet foods available, so I wound up making most of it. They didnāt like the veggie content. Even when I found the right commercial foods, it was obvious they much preferred homemade by a mile. When moving to this small town, I could barely get chicken fresh enough for their high standards, so I started getting my chicken directly from the farm. They loved it so much more than anything they had eaten before. I share this because even though the butcher cut it up that day and even though it might have been delivered that day, it doesnāt mean itās as fresh as you think it is. Find out the kill date, not delivery date, and maybe try things that were once a fail in order to rule out the smell of something not quite as fresh. My crew liked things killed within 5 days⦠3 was idealā¦
You mentioned many cuts. My cats preferred it blended in the food processor to become closer to pate vs chunks. And, you mentioned many good ideas that failed, but perhaps you try some unsalted human tuna water and pour that over the healthy canned or raw? If yours donāt go for that, you are royally screwed 
Fwiw, my cats liked chicken the most⦠then turkey, then no other proteins.
They say to incorporate a little bit of the healthy food you want them to eat into the food they love, and then slowly, over a long time period, keep changing the ratio to one day nixing the unhealthy stuff, or to at least having an inverse relationship and the unhealthy stuff is just sprinkled on the healthy stuff.
Also, donāt feed kibble at the same time as raw. They said it will slow the digestion of raw in their digestive tracks and then bacteria can become an issue. You could check to see if the science on this has changed. I learned that 17 years ago!
What I did with the kittens was use a cat food that was tuna based (not human tuna), and I coated the healthy wet/raw food with it. I treated it as I was icing a cake. First it was a thick layer all over⦠then a thin layer all over⦠and then eventually there was just a touch of tuna on top. This is a dangerous trick because itās said fish is so strong smelling for a cat that they can easily become fish addicts. I just didnāt know a better way. Cats are all about smell, so it masked the smell of the āstrangeā new food until it no longer smelled unfamiliar and then they would eat more and more of the raw that lies beneath.
When I eventually learned they shouldnāt have so much tuna, I discovered kitty crack!! Freeze dried chicken! Iāve gone through MANY brands and they clearly prefer some over the others. They wouldnāt even touch certain brands, so know you need to experiment. Their consistent stand out favorite is Cat Man Doo Life Essentials freeze dried chicken sprinkles (note SPRINKLES, they sell many sizes and if you put big chunks on their food, they can just eat the chunks off :). (When they are being less picky, Iāll alternate it with Fresh is Best chicken sprinkles because theirs is raw and a lot less expensive). You can get it Cat Man Doo on Chewy, but if you continue to buy it, I recommend buying in bulk on the companyās website for a much bigger discount. (I get 6 bags from them)
If I were doing it again, Iād start with this kitty crack idea and skip the tuna.
You can start out putting a ton on top, and then slowly reduce the amount. My cats have loved it so much that a sprinkling goes on each and every meal they get. If I happen to forget, they just stare at me with food in front of them until I top their food⦠itās perfectly healthy, so no problem there. Even now, they still react to the smell. Without it, their food is just not familiar I suppose? Or just spoiled rotten⦠probably both!
Another way to use the smell/taste enticement method is to use bonito flakes and press them in the foodā¦
And if they are kibble addicts, and because you shouldnāt mix kibble with raw, I would first try doing all the above as a snack
And then at meal time, you try these methods with canned food topped with some of their favorite kibble ?
I imagine youāve tried versions of this before! It sounds like youāve tried just about everything!
BTW, if you ever have sick kitties and need tips on medicines, please reach out. I had a very sick cat who needed many medicines all day long for the last year and I have the BEST source for compounded pet meds⦠and tricks to get them inside ⦠it took me a LONG time and a lot of wasted money and endless tears to perfect my operation!
Oh, also, have you tried Churu tuna tubes? If not, that is also an excellent enticement that you can āice the cakeā with.
I hope some of that is useful and donāt hesitate asking anything else. If there is anything in here that you havenāt tried, and if it works for you, please let me know!! If my blood sweat and tears helps anyone else, it makes me so happy!